


Stone Hearted

by SPCMRose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Freeform, POV Gadreel, freeform angel possesion, gadreel - Freeform, pov ezekiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 11:51:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2546495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SPCMRose/pseuds/SPCMRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look into Gadreel's POV for end of season 9 episode 8, a rock and a hard place. Slightly AU at end for possibility of seeing Gadreel and Sam interact.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stone Hearted

STONE HEARTED

 

by rose

 

Gadreel is tired. His being aches, his Grace shivers with zaps of ice cold threads of pain. It hurts to think, it hurts to _exist_. Gadreel’s wings have hardly improved, and his Grace is still weaker than he had hoped. Yet still, he works. He lets his aching Grace thread through his vessel, slowly working to heal patches and soothe pains that his host body feels.

 

It’s tiring work, but necessary. He needs the vessel, he needs the Winchester’s protection. Especially now, with his Grace so weak. His thoughts stray as he works. He wonders about his closest brother, Abner. Was his brother doing well after the fall? Had he even survived? Abner had been one of the main reasons Gadreel had coped through his imprisonment.

 

His being bristles at the memories of his time in Heaven’s jail. It wasn’t a thing he enjoyed thinking about, and he actively tried to avoid thinking about it. Though, now he couldn’t help but compare his time using Sam Winchester as his vessel, to a simple extension of his imprisonment. Logically, Gadreel knew that he was free to leave at any time, the only thing that kept him here was his promise to heal Sam.

 

Even with his commitment to his honor, he was willing to leave Sam without healing him to full strength if need be. His brothers would think him a coward for that fact, but Gadreel thought he was braver than most. He was, after all, not only going against those angels who would want him dead for what occurred in the Garden, but also now he risked incurring the Winchester’s -and their allies- wrath.

 

Pushing those thoughts aside, Gadreel threaded himself through Sam’s conscious to distract himself. He never went too deep of course, refusing to tarnish his honor by eavesdropping on his vessel’s thoughts, but sometimes he liked the listen to the murmurs of Sam’s surroundings.

 

The few times Dean called for him, Gadreel had often been deep in hiding within his vessel. Simply mending the body he was inhabiting whilst keeping to his own thoughts. The only reason he even heard Dean, was because Gadreel had made sure to keep a part of his Grace constantly threaded through Sam’s hearing.

 

Then, he had only heard the outer world when Dean called for him, now he heard everything. He kept the volume low, so there was only a faint hum of sentences, and a few words far too quiet for him to decipherer. It lulled Gadreel, and kept him from thinking of more uncomfortable thoughts.

 

He continued to work, spurred by the murmurs he heard from the outer world. Sam’s body was improving, although at a rate Gadreel was entirely disappointed with. Eventually words filtered through to him, scattered ones that caught his attention. With a worried tremor rippling through his Grace, he threaded deeper into Sam’s conscience.

 

Sam sat on the edge of a bed, elbows resting on his knees and brow furrowed in doubt. “What’s up?” Dean asked casually from his position nearby. Sam rubbed his palms together and frowned even deeper. “ What if there is something wrong with me -- something...really wrong?”

 

Gadreel felt himself stiffen. He did not like it when they brought conversations up like this. It never ended well for him. “You're just crapped out, man. You need some rest.” Dean’s attempt at comfort was lost on the younger Winchester. Gadreel edged closer to the surface of his vessel, wanting to gain stronger coherency on the situation. “Oh, it's more than that. I mean, Vesta said I was practically dead inside.”

 

“Oh, and she's in the circle of trust now?”

 

Gadreel remembers the goddess, and can’t help the annoyance that runs through him. He had been close to taking over control of his vessel and personally smiting her himself. “Why would she lie?” Dean struggles to find a way to calm his brother, and Gadreel feels himself grow irritated at that. If the older brother didn’t think he could handle the situation, why did he start it in the first place? “It's probably the trials, okay? Probably some sort of a, you know, aftereffect. It's not like you're bouncing back from the flu here. I mean, you were glowing with freaking trial juice.”

 

“I don't know.” Dean blinks. “Well, what else would it be?”

 

“Why does it have to be something else? It's always something else. We're always scraping to find some other explanation when maybe it is... just me.”

 

“Oh, come on, Sam.” Dean looks at his brother, concern glinting in his eyes. “I'm a mess, Dean,” Sam admits. “You know it. And sometimes, I feel like maybe I'm never gonna actually be all right.”

 

:You will. All right, 'cause whatever it is, we'll figure it out.”

 

“Or this is... just the way I am.”

 

After a moment of thought, Dean’s eyes fall shut in resignation. He shakes his head and goes to sit next to his brother. Gadreel’s Grace vibrates, pulsing trepidation over the events transpiring.  “I can't. I can't let you put this on yourself. Listen to me. It's not you, Sam.”

 

Gadreel deflates then. So it was time for him to stop Dean once more. He didn’t understand why Dean couldn’t comprehend the problem. Sam was dying, Gadreel was keeping him from death. If Dean told Sam of Gadreel, then the younger Winchester would undoubtedly demand that the angel leave. Some part of Gadreel, although he finds himself hesitant to care for the boys, is entirely uncomfortable with the prospect of Sam dying.

 

He also isn’t sure if he would survive without the Winchester’s protection, and the bunkers warding. Gadreel hesitates a moment, before surging forward. His Grace overwhelms Sam in an instant, and it takes him a moment to remember what it’s like to control the vessel. Sam’s conscience freezes at the back of Gadreel’s mind, and he makes sure not to harm Sam as he takes control.

 

Gadreel straightens his back and takes in a small breath, before speaking. “I wouldn't do that, Dean.” The hunter grows angry, frustration sparking in his eyes. “He deserves to know.”

 

“Your brother is not ready. If he ejects me, he will not make it.”

 

Once again Gadreel wonders if he should explain the situation to Dean again. Even though he knows the hunter is smart, in his own way, he just doesn’t seem to understand. Gadreel knows that Dean doesn't want his brother to die, perhaps his guilt is clouding his sense of logic.

 

“Damn it, Zeke! How much longer we got to keep playing this?”

 

“Not much longer.” Gadreel knows the truth to his words, Sam is healing slowly, but it won’t be long before the vessel can survive without Gadreel’s Grace. “I promise you that.”

 

Gadreel prepares to pull his Grace back, and let Sam have control again, but Dean suddenly snaps at him. “Talk to him.”

 

“You wish me to alert him of my presence?” Gadreel asks slowly. He’s beginning to worry now. He knows of the hunter’s stubbornness.

 

“Yes.” Dean’s eyes grow hard, his lips thinning into a hard line. “Persuade him to keep you in there. I don’t care how, I just can’t lie to my brother anymore.”

 

Gadreel frowns. “Do you not understand the implications of your words, Dean Winchester? If Sam knows of my presence-”

 

“-I know,” Dean cuts him off. “But damnit Zeke, if you don’t tell him then I’m going to tell him.”

 

Suddenly, Gadreel realizes that this is truly it. After weeks of careful hiding and cautious interactions, Dean wants him to ruin it all.

 

“Alright,” Gadreel says slowly. “If that is what you wish.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Check out my
> 
> [tumblr](https://spcmrose.tumblr.com)
> 
> if you haven't :)


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